Monday morning of August 27 when I shed my last tears for Dan . . . I just can't believe that what I have dreamed before about his girlfriend "Emilia", is somewhat a warning for me that what am I pursuing will just crushed my heart and will make my heart breaks. My dream of a picture of him and together with a girl came true. . . And the most shocking part, "he does not love me that much" . . . The moment I heard it from his mouth, I was awaken from the reality that I am wasting my time thinking about him, caring for him and longing for him. It felt very unfair, for I am here, still loving him, while he is there playing around, searching for someone. . .
+my heart crushed+ and +I beg to him+but he was so confused+
I just can't believe that he forgot ALL the memories we have shared! From our food tripping, tulog moments, our kulitan, our inuman and yosi jammin, singing jologs songs together, coffee nights, the way I treated and loved his family, our mountain escapades, canlubang trips . . . everything that we did, it all lingers in my mind, but for him, all that left in his memories are the endless arguments that for me, we can learn something from it, but he views it as unhealthy, and he can't forget the pain that he experienced from me. Yes, I made a mistake . . . But I have done so many things to prove to him that I am so so sorry about it, and I am willing to change if he will give me another CHANCE! But he's pride is really killing me, and I have nothing to do but to GIVE-UP!!
(amphota! daig ko pa ang nanlalaki sa sakit na nadadama ko, sana nanloko na lang ako, parehas lang naman ang paghihirap eh!")
binigay ko sayo lahat.. alam mo yun! pero ayaw mo maniwala na binigay ko sa yo lahat! isipin mo kaya!!
+As hard as it may seem... I gave-up the fight+ I have nothing to do with it, I've done my part . . .+ (sob)
15 minutes after our conversation, the rain pours, as if the heavens is crying with me . . . I felt so weak and promise myself that I will never ever cry again with the same person. I let the mountain took my pain and heartaches . . . and thankfully, Mt. Batulao granted my wishes. I felt much better and relief that somehow, i believe that in the end of this tunnel there's a light that's waiting for me. I know there will be greater things along my way . . It's painful to think that everything's over (sayang talaga! kala ko may future kami together!) but I have to accept the reality that he ended it and I just gave-up.
+I have nothing to do, but everything proves me that all this time, he doesn't love me that much+
If you really love me, why your love fades so fast??? if you love truly, why you can easily moved on?? I know I can't have this answer anymore, and I don't want to know it actually... but that proves me that you really don't love me in the very first place. come to think of it!
I know I am in the stage of anger. . . I hope I may over come this... i know..
I am sorry.. pero hindi ko na kaya . . . mahal na mahal ko siya... pero aalis na ako...
+Okay talo nanaman ako dito sa tinatawag na "game of love" . . . sumugal ako.... pero natalo ang taya ko..+ haays... sana pag sumugal ako uli, sa ibang tao na..+
+my heart crushed+ and +I beg to him+but he was so confused+
I just can't believe that he forgot ALL the memories we have shared! From our food tripping, tulog moments, our kulitan, our inuman and yosi jammin, singing jologs songs together, coffee nights, the way I treated and loved his family, our mountain escapades, canlubang trips . . . everything that we did, it all lingers in my mind, but for him, all that left in his memories are the endless arguments that for me, we can learn something from it, but he views it as unhealthy, and he can't forget the pain that he experienced from me. Yes, I made a mistake . . . But I have done so many things to prove to him that I am so so sorry about it, and I am willing to change if he will give me another CHANCE! But he's pride is really killing me, and I have nothing to do but to GIVE-UP!!
(amphota! daig ko pa ang nanlalaki sa sakit na nadadama ko, sana nanloko na lang ako, parehas lang naman ang paghihirap eh!")
binigay ko sayo lahat.. alam mo yun! pero ayaw mo maniwala na binigay ko sa yo lahat! isipin mo kaya!!
+As hard as it may seem... I gave-up the fight+ I have nothing to do with it, I've done my part . . .+ (sob)
15 minutes after our conversation, the rain pours, as if the heavens is crying with me . . . I felt so weak and promise myself that I will never ever cry again with the same person. I let the mountain took my pain and heartaches . . . and thankfully, Mt. Batulao granted my wishes. I felt much better and relief that somehow, i believe that in the end of this tunnel there's a light that's waiting for me. I know there will be greater things along my way . . It's painful to think that everything's over (sayang talaga! kala ko may future kami together!) but I have to accept the reality that he ended it and I just gave-up.
+I have nothing to do, but everything proves me that all this time, he doesn't love me that much+
If you really love me, why your love fades so fast??? if you love truly, why you can easily moved on?? I know I can't have this answer anymore, and I don't want to know it actually... but that proves me that you really don't love me in the very first place. come to think of it!
I know I am in the stage of anger. . . I hope I may over come this... i know..
I am sorry.. pero hindi ko na kaya . . . mahal na mahal ko siya... pero aalis na ako...
+Okay talo nanaman ako dito sa tinatawag na "game of love" . . . sumugal ako.... pero natalo ang taya ko..+ haays... sana pag sumugal ako uli, sa ibang tao na..+
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