By Sara Susanne D. Fabunan
Dark, smoky room. I was sitting in a chair facing him across a round table. The lamp hanging on the ceiling is the only light in this gloomy room. The air was filled with smoke which made my eyes become fuzzy and teary. It was a one–on-one card game…
As I was holding my cards, I stared steadily on the player, examining what’s on his mind and which card he will reveal to intimidate me.
He looked at me, smirking. Is he just bluffing? I asked myself. I did not blink and kept staring at him steadily. He looked so relaxed while holding his cards.
Then the dealer showed the first three decks of cards. My hands started to sweat, my heart beat faster for I know I’m going to lose this game. Sara, just bluff, just bluff, pretend that you’re okay… pretend that you have a say on this fight. I reached for my cigarette and puffed it hardly until the smoke reached my entire lungs, inhaling the smoke and its nicotine as if I were living my last day.
“Am I going to risk it all?” I asked myself silently as I displayed a poker face.
“You know what, Sara? I really want you to win this game… but I’m too selfish. I want to win,” he said with a look of mockery in his eyes.
I puffed my cigarette and threw its butt on the ashtray then I looked at him again, trying to act cool. I know myself. For the moment I sat on this chair, the moment we begin this game, I decided to accept what will happen and enjoy the ride and eventually risk all my cards. I am sure as hell that I want this game, win or lose.
However, fear crept unto me when I saw that he is just playing around. He is just not ready to risk all of his cards… oh yeah, he’s playing it safe, I said while studying his moves.
“If I bet it all, will you bet it all?” I asked him for the last time. His face turned red and became more serious. I was shaking, for I know his answer.
Then the dealer revealed another card that will complete the four decks of cards. I closed my left fists upon seeing the decks and accepted that I’m going to lose this game.
I bet all of my chips. Nothing left. What the hell. He did the same thing as I did for he had no choice.
Then slowly we both showed our cards. As what I have expected, I lost the game…
I am about to cry, but I don’t want to show my weakest spot, as soon as he got his chips, I stood up and headed towards the exit door. I guess there’s no need for me to stay. I guess I gave my best shot…
Even though I left the room with a heavy heart, I know someday, somehow, somewhere over a beautiful rainbow, I will soon win the game.
Pitiful for the both of us for neither of us won. For in reality, we are both losers on this game called love…
