MOI INSPIRASYON: 3G iPhone

Aside from boys, this 3G iPhone made my heartbeat faster. This phone will keep me from working so hard until I have this. From 15 thousand, now the price lower down to almost 9 thousand pesos or 199 dollars. Alas! I can somehow afford this phone as a gift for myself on my Birthday. =) xo xo excited! =) awww!

Inuman @ Dematisse, Taft Avenue

The shortest inuman session ever: (L to R) Caloy, Agi, Fabulous, Karen and Jeff

Caloy: He was so balisa that night, as innnn! we don't know why. *hug and kiss sa triceps* na lang

Agi: Love his hoodies. After hatid si my labs sumunod sa dema para uminom ng tubig. amp.

Pots: Red kung red. wala lang naman. red is the color actually; ka and jep were actually wearing red too. anyway, chill and sunod lang sa agos ng buhay.

Ka: Very in love and overwhelmed with his "intimate textmate" haha. happy for you, pero be careful gurl, lam mo na ang dugong nananalaytay dun. matinik pre. haha

Jep: He was dead tired that time, tapos he took med pa for his allergies kaya talagang hindi niya kinaya so nagkayayaan ng umuwi. Papaano simula ng dumating siya as in walang pahinga. anyway, I hope nag enjoy siya kahit papaano. *smile*

Mike: siya kumuha ng picture kaya wala siya jan. Ka-Sining nila agi at caloy. He's nice, marl mentol din ang brand niya. kaya lang mejo tahimik siya, siguro first meeting kasi e. sa next inuman na lang ulit.

Tiara met Mr. Big

A Short story from Sara Susanne D. Fabunan

I was running in the wilderness trying to find a way to escape. My cold sweat from my forehead was slowly dripping down on my face; I tried to run as fast as I could so the shadow behind me will stop haunting me. As I was running to death, the tip of my right foot caught by a big stone and tripped me until I stumbled and my face fell straight to the ground. I was trying to stand but my whole body felt numbed from a fall. I closed my eyes, hoping that someone will save me. My body was shaking from fear to a shadow behind me. Then I suddenly heard a firm and strong voice from the summit peak of the mountain.

“Accept me and surrender so you will feel safe” the man said.

I stood-up and find the voice, but I see nothing but darkness. “Who are you??” I said in fear and curiosity.

“I am who I am” the voice replied.

I didn’t say anything for I don’t know what to say.

‘who is “I”?’ I asked myself. But I ignore everything and started running with all my strength to escape the shadow behind me.

But then, I fell again and sprained my right ankle; I cried in pain but no one heard my cry, then I finally felt empty and alone.

“Accept me and surrender so you will feel safe” the voice from the mountain said again.

“WHO ARE YOUUU?!? PLEASE SHOW ME YOUR FACE SO I COULD TRUST YOU!!!!” I said in fright.

“Do you need to see me in order to trust me? How weak is your faith. Your faith is like a house made of straw, once blown by the wind, the whole thing was destroyed and useless.

“I can’t understand you! Who are you??” I startled.

“Accept me and surrender so you will feel safe” the voice reiterated

“But how?” I replied impatiently.

“Commit to me” The voice firmly replied.

“I still can’t have a commitment to anybody, I am still scared and vulnerable! What can I do now??” I explained sincerely.

“Do you see that light that is heading you? You go in that direction so you will know what to do, you may fall from the ground many times as you journey, but that will make you stronger and wiser.”

Then there was silent.

I stood up and started to walk instead. “I will never look back so I may not feel fear on the shadow behind me. I will just look towards the light until I reach that destination” I said as I was looking forward to finally see what’s in that light and hoping that in that light, I may openly accept the voice from up there and find peace.

“Mr. Big, here I come”. . . .

Masochist says: “I surrender in this love department!”

A friend once asked me a question whether I will choose the short term happiness or the long term ones. I didn’t actually digest his question because I was so crazy in love chasing my ex-boyfriend that I just can’t profoundly think about it yet because I knew that time that I am indeed happy of what I am doing.

But the more I am making myself believe that I am happy, the more his question dawned on me as I went home after being with my guy that something is wrong with what I am doing on the situation. Then It suddenly came into my mind, am I really that happy? I know seeing him and being with him surely makes me happy; but how come after those moments, when I found myself alone in my room, I suddenly see myself crying, feeling empty, too much sadness and pain? Is this the short term happiness that my friend is pointing out to me? Is this what I want forever?

Then I was awaken with the reality that I think I’m not having any direction with this kind of relationship. It’s like going into nowhere; I am actually riding a journey with the hope that we can be together again but looking at the reality, I am obviously heading to nowhere with a false hope of having him again. I remember I read a book about Personal Development, and it says that in any action you take or anything that you want to do, make sure that there’s always a purpose and motive why you are doing it. So I realized, If I made an action or a decision in my life without any purpose at all, it means I am leading to nowhere and it just mean that I don’t have any goals in life. And if I don’t have any goals to any areas of my life, I will surely see myself doing the same mistake that I did on my past. And history will always repeat it self if I didn’t do something different about it. Though I know it’s a really tough decision but I think this is the time for a drastic change - leaving all the things and people that will always make me remember about him, and of course leaving him; he who I chose to consider as my “world”.

I should decide on my own, and search for the real happiness that I am craving for a long time. I know it will be a very “baby” step to be actually move on, but I have already set my goals that I will leave everything not because I am just hurting about the situation, but it is because I know that we need to grow, we need to find our own selves, and solve our own set of problems alone.

Having this relationship made me learned that I loved myself less, so leaving in this situation will mean loving myself most, loving my music, my art, and my passion to writing. I will somehow build walls or barriers for a while so I can rebuild myself to be whole again.

It will really take too long until I am so free from my commitment phobia, but at least I know where will I go in this journey.

I can confidently say, “Hey Francis! I am now choosing my long term happiness!” *grin* =D

Just Got Lucky! : Purita in the City

I call this day as my “POORita” day. Worse came to worst, my brother forgot to withdraw money from the bank, I have to come for work but I only have 100 box in my pinky wallet. “So what now?” I panicked. It’s impossible to survive with 100 box if you’re working in Makati. And It’s Wednesday, I am not allowed to skip work, I have lots of things to do on my desk.

I only got one solution, “find food in the refrigerator!!!”; I hurriedly looked for a-fast-to-grab-no-need-to-prepare food, well I just got lucky! Purita found a bottle of Spanish Sardines! “It’s enough for my breakfast and lunch!” I said, and then I rushed outside as I noticed that I am already late!

Breakfast came, and I splurge on my Spanish Sardines, since it was too plenty I even shared it to my officemate Niki.

Lunch came and Purita had again her Spanish Sardines, but purita just got lucky because her officemate gave her a Barbie-Q for lunch! Woot!

Afternoon came, and I’m really am starving “again”, a big eater like me will never handle to skip merienda. But when I remembered my money on my purse, . .I ignore my whining stomach. But then, I just got lucky! Niki treated me for merienda! WOOOT!

Evening came, having 40 box in my wallet really freaking me, I feel such a loser in the city. I completely blaming myself for spending too much on food, clothes and out-of-town get aways. Spending too much for pleasure is really my sickness. I don't know, it eases my inner needs. While I was thinking which cheaper route I should take, my phone beeped.

Pattyboi: Potski, where ka?

Pots: Office why?

Pattyboi: I'm here in City Land! Let's meet! See ya!

Oh it's Patty! Aww! Well I just got lucky, after we talked to catch up on things, she brought me home, safe and sound! Woot! Thanks Pattyboi! I had fun! muwah!

Am I lucky or blessed??

Thank God! I thought no one cares for me at all. . .

And my mom gave me money tonight, so I’m not pulubs anymore!! Haha!

Haunted Relationship

We were riding in a bus, silence filled between the two of us, It feels uncomfortable, words are running out in my head. It feels like I want to end the silence and talk to you, and ask what's bothering you. But I am so helpless to do so. I can't hear any word from you . . . I don't know, I don't have any clue of what is going on between us, am I going to ride with you until you drop me somewhere? Or I'll be the one to pull over and find my own destination?

Looking back with my past relationships made me think if I am committing the same mistake again, will I let myself trap to a "nowhere to run scenario" again? Is being true to my own feelings is a mistake? Or being true to my feelings when I know It's too late to be true is a mistake? I don't know, but as I was thinking about everything feels like i will be heading to a very dark place of nowhere.

and so I ask:

Why does past relationship keeps on haunting me in my conscious and subconscious mind? It's like a ghost in my head keep booing until I cry in fears. Do unresolved past relationship should be SOLVED so that it will not keep haunting you like a ghost?

haays... am i going to ride with him or will I pull over?

*The “Brief” Affairs*

It was definitely not WHITE,

neither BLACK,

nor GREY

it’s BLUE GREEN baby!

So who’s your daddy now???