"Grey Clouds on my Head"

I don't know. . . I miss him but I know I have to stop longing for him, I care for him but I feel it is useless of showing it, I want to hug him, but my arms can't move to hug him back, I want to kiss him, but I am so scared to get hurt afterwards, I love him, but i know I have to move on. . . I have to say goodbye and face my new life without him . . . I am now confused, will I pursue it or not?

I know I have to decide and make things happen as soon as possible, this is difficult, but I have to sacrifice. . . i don't know what will happen next, all I want is to end it, to make things better for the both of us.

I feel sorry, but I guess, this is it . .